Bacon is such a downer

Ferrer Kid Pyramid

It's Tuesday and I'm cooking bacon for dinner while J and Z are watching a movie and L is napping. You would think my mind would wander off to random things like those shoes that have been sitting in my e-cart for two weeks, or the Fitbit that I've been waiting for to launch - but no. My mind starts wandering towards saying goodbye to our kids. How morbid am I?

Ok ok let's backtrack a bit... making dinner and the intoxicating smell of bacon made me start thinking of all our family breakfasts. The way we sit around our table talking about what we're going to do that day or what we've done that past week. And I think, I hope our kids remember that. The jokes we told, the laughter we shared, and the memories we made. I hope that their kids get to hear about it as they sit together for their family meals. And then I think, Dear God, when you decide to take me home please don't take me until I can say a proper goodbye to my kids. Let me have a moment when I can tell them just how much they meant to me. How happy I am that I was chosen to be their Mama. How proud I am of who they are and who they are growing up to be. How my life was incredibly blessed that I got to spend my days seeing them grow and be a blessing to me and to everyone around them.

But since I don't get to pick the number of my days or the chances I may miss to tell them I'm going to do it here and someday I hope they'll get to read it and reflect on it, and then read it again to remember me, the me now - not the sick me, not the dying me, not the gone forever (but, hopefully never forgotten) me.